By Charlotte Johnson , eHow Contributor                               The adolescent years can be equally trying times for many parents and teens. Conflict usually surfaces periodically over various reasons. At times you may find your interaction with your teenage child escalating as tempers rise. As the parent it is your job to de-escalate the situation through a variety of strategies. De-escalating conflict with your teenager will help both of you to think more clearly, make better decisions and protect your relationship. Instructions Regulate your own emotions and physical sensations. Conflict often brings about rapid breathing and heart rate which can help to intensify your emotions and reactions. When you sense yourself becoming worked up, purposely slow your breathing and focus on relaxing your muscles. This simple practice can help you to be more in control of your own actions and thoughts. Lower your voice when you hear your teen raising his voice. T

Parenting Styles Continuum Developmental Affirations Family Rules Parent by Personality Types Challenging Temperaments Highly Sensitive Children Explosive Children Trauma and Parenting ADHD and Oppositional Defiant Disorder Sensory Integration Autism and Aspergers Early Childhood Teens Chores House Rules I have been a child and family therapist for over 20 years.  It didn't occur to me right off the bat how much choosing this profession would involve coaching parenting strategies.  So I've done my share of research over the years.  Here's what I found: THERE IS NO RIGHT WAY TO PARENT. Parenting is on a continuum .   This is best described by Jean Illsley Clarke (author of Self-Esteem a Family Affair), in Growing Up Again .  Parenting styles range from overly strict to overly permissive.  Probably moderation is the healthiest .  In the middle of the continuum, you should have a set of Non-Negotiable Rules and a set of Negotiable Rules. Rigidity

"Life Traps," Filters or Schema Work Based on the book “ Reinventing Your Life: The Breakthrough Program to End Negative Behavior...and Feel Great Again ” The authors, who are cognitive psychotherapists, identify 11 common "lifetraps," which they define as repetitive, destructive behavior patterns associated with a negative self-image. The following is a questionnaire for self-assessment and an overview of concrete steps for change. Filters Questionnaire Take Filters Questionnaire Create Filters Flashcard Filters/Schema Therapy: Books on Filters/Schemas Reinventing Your Life , by Jeffrey Young Schema Flashcard Schema Therapy Online Emotional Deprivation Abandonment Mistrust and Abuse Social Isolation Defectiveness and Shame Failure to Achieve Dependency and Incompetence Vulnerability to Harm Enmeshment Subjugation Self-Sacrifice Emotional Inhibition Unrelenting Standards Entitlement and Grandiosity Insufficient Limits and Self Control Approval Seeking Negativity a

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