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ADHD and Household Chores (ADHD and Marriage)

"A common pattern is that the ADHD person agrees to do the chores, but then doesn't actually do them.  This can be a result of his/her poor organizational skills, his lack of interest in small things, distractions in general, resentment towards his partner for requesting assistance and other things.  These are issues that are directly related to his/her ADHD and it helps if both spouse recognize that this is the case.  However, while ADHD can explain why it is so difficult for the ADHD spouse to be involved around the house, ADHD should not be used as an excuse for the ADHD spouse not to be involved.  A person with ADHD can do their share, and should, but both spouses need to know that it takes extra effort for this person and both spouses must be willing to put the systems in place that help get things done.  In addition, both spouses need to make an effort to approach the household chores with patience and with a sense of humor.  But know that if the ADHD spouse stays uninvolved this will certainly spell trouble for the marriage because staying uninvolved sends a message to the non-ADHD spouse that you don't care about them. "

Housekeeping Made Easy with Adult ADHD

Tips to help adults with ADD get organized and keep every room in the house clean and orderly.

Book Recommendations for ADHD Marriages

Married to Distraction (2010)
by Edward M. Hallowell, M.D., Sue George Hallowell, LICSW, Melisa Orlov.
Quote: "At the very least, intimacy requires attention. Without attention, emotional closeness is iimpossible. Distraction is to an intimate conversation as water is to fire." pg. 12.

The ADHD Effect on Marriage (2010)
by Melissa Orlov.
Is It You, Me, or Adult A.D.D.? Stopping the Roller Coaster When Someone You Love Has Attention Deficit Disorder (2008)
Gina Pera.
Quote: "They're [people with untreated ADHD] likely to burn through friendships and dating relationships faster than average and be more prone to marital discord and divorce." pg. 327.


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