Welcome! The following resources are methods I use for couples counseling.
Couples Counseling is not covered by insurance.
Research on successful marriages
Emotional Intelligence for Couples: Brent Atkinson, Ph.D., is the principle architect of Pragmatic/Experiential Therapy for Couples, an approach that translates new scientific findings about the brain into practical methods for improving relationships. Dr. Atkinson is author of Developing Habits for Relationship Success, and Emotional Intelligence in Couples Therapy: Advances from Neurobiology and the Science of Intimate Relationships. He is Director of Post-Graduate Training at the Couples Research Institute in Geneva, Illinois and holds a senior graduate faculty post at Northern Illinois University. Dr. Atkinson's pioneering work has been the subject of dozens of professional journal articles, and has recently been featured in magazines and newspapers such as the Oprah Magazine, the Washington Post, Cosmopolitan Magazine, the Psychotherapy Networker, and others. A personable and engaging speaker, Dr. Atkinson is known for his ability to present complex scientific ideas in compelling and easy-to-understand ways. His seminars are packed with cutting-edge information, practical interventions, and handouts that can be given to clients. For more information about Brent and his work, please visit his website: www.thecouplesclinic.com
He developed the Gottman Method Couple's Therapy based on his research findings. The therapy aims to increase respect, affection, and closeness, break through and resolve conflict, generate greater understandings, and to keep conflict discussions calm. The Gottman Method seeks to help couples build happy and stable marriages.
Mindfulness for Couples
The High Conflict Couple - DBT
"This is a highly recommended resource when one spouse (or significant other) has Borderline Personality Disorder. High Conflict Couple is a guide for couples seeking to ease their conflicts and deepen their relationship. This is an excellent book to share with your BPD partner as it doesn't make direct mention of BPD - other than that the authors are all leaders in the field of BPD. "BPD" couples need more than just the run-of-the-mill relationship advice to solve relationship problems. When out-of-control emotions are the root cause of problems, no amount of effective communication or intimacy building will fix what ails it. According to Fruzzetti, what "high-conflict" couples need is help regulating the emotions that provoke the "escape or win" mode of interaction that has come to define them. In this book, Fruzzetti, adapts these emotion regulation tools (dialectical behavior therapy - DBT) for use by couples. For example, Fruzzetti suggest analyzing the relationship and identify the issues that cause conflict ("triggers") - and then identify more constructive ways to handle them. Once you have identified the typical triggers and also identified more helpful alternatives; put them together - 1) imagine a trigger; 2) imagine remembering your goal (to improve your relationship); and 3) imagine responding in a self- respecting and respectful way. "
Being in a healthy, loving relationship is a challenge in our modern times, but there are many, many supports to help you and your partner in this wonderful endeavor.
Here are some books and programs I can suggest:
Codependents Anonymous http://www.coda.org/
Co-Dependents Anonymous is a fellowship of men and women whose common purpose is to develop healthy relationships.
Recovering Couples Anonymous http://www.recovering-couples.org/
Couples in recovery committed to restoring healthy communication, caring, and greater intimacy to our relationships.
Click for several downloads:
Al Turtle's Relationship Wisdom :: Main Page
Original articles, essays and charts of the collected wisdom of 35 years of working with couples in trouble.
Incredibly valuable articles:
Imago: an idealized mental image of another person or the self
Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples
"When Harville Hendrix writes about relationships, he discusses them not just as an educator and a therapist, but as a man who has himself been through a failed marriage. Hendrix felt the sting of his divorce intensely because he believed it signaled not only his failure as a husband but also his failure as a couples counselor. Investigating why his marriage dissolved led him to start looking into the psychology of love. Marriage, he ultimately discovered, is the "practice of becoming passionate friends."
As a result of his research, Hendrix created a therapy he calls Imago Relationship Therapy. In it, he combines what he's learned in a number of disciplines, including the behavioral sciences, depth psychology, cognitive therapy, and Gestalt therapy, to name just a few. He expounds upon this approach in Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples. His purpose in writing the book, he says, is "to share with you what I have learned about the psychology of love relationships, and to help you transform your relationship into a lasting source of love and companionship.""
Pia Mellody, Lawre...
|The Intimacy Factor: The Ground Rules for Overcoming the Obstacles to Truth, Respect, and Lasting Love|
"A certified addiction counselor and registered nurse, Pia Mellody (Facing Codependence), writing with the assistance of Freundlich (president of Freundlich Communications), offers a self-help guide based on the role of spirituality in intimate relationships. As a recovering alcoholic, Mellody experienced a profound love coming to her from God; this supportive love led her to develop the fairly complex program that she currently uses while counseling clients. The author believes that many children are traumatized by parents who either shame (disempower) their children or force them into a parental role (falsely empower). Labeling both actions as abusive, Mellody provides examples of how children treated this way can recover and function more happily in the adult world. She details here how to erect healthy physical, emotional and intellectual boundaries that will foster rather than hamper intimacy and boost self-esteem. "
Abandonment and Engulfment fears